Chapter 6

Read Chapter 5 “The Brief History”

Passive Aggressive Parents

07th November 2018

Since I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself and obsessing about what to do about Jim, let me tell you a little bit more about the passive-aggressive parents from the girl’s school. (I bet other schools have those too.)

We chose this independent school for our girls because we (Jim and I) liked the school’s approach to a child’s development. I particularly liked that there were no exams and no grades. Back then, we both thought that this kind of environment was going to be perfect for our girls to become independent thinkers.

We started school when our oldest turned four. From the first moment, we entered the school community; all school-related matters became my responsibility only.

From the first day of school, the managers expected a lot from the parents.

Over the years, I’ve given away a lot of my time and knowledge to help improve the finances and running of the school. Unfortunately, my hard work has never been recognized or appreciated in any way. Nonetheless, I always managed to convince myself that if my girls were happy, I didn’t care that much about recognition, either my precious time.

You cannot buy more time once it’s gone it’s gone.

The longer we were at school, and the more I was getting involved within the school community, the more I became aware of parents judgment towards one another, gossips, and recurring passive-aggressive behaviour.

To my horror, all that conduct was entirely acceptable and very common, amongst the most “enlightened school community in London”. Ok. that’s a big fat lie; they aren’t that enlightened, even though they (the community) strongly desire to be.

Over the first weeks and months at school, I discovered that not all parents were nice and even wanted to be nice. Some were plain straight horrible bullies, with some sick “political” agendas attached to their names. To progress their agenda, those parents used passive-aggressive tactics as part of their game.

I knew that kind of behaviour very well from my corporate jobs. But I didn’t realize that it was also popular in the school, which pride itself for putting child’s wellbeing first.

Those freaking bullies tried to take control of the school, regardless of the implications and costs to the community. I still have a tough time understanding why play aggressive games just to become a trustee.

Christina has always been one of those passive-aggressive parents who tormented others just for the pure pleasure of it. At times, she would pretend to be overly friendly and attentive, then the next morning, she would cross the road to avoid saying good morning to me. It’s become a pattern with her.

I still don’t know the root of her meanness towards me, but I guess she’s always had her eyes on Jim and simply treated me as her competition, even though I was married to him, and still am, regardless of what they are doing together.

With each passing year, the Queen Bee of Meanness was becoming more unpleasant and disrespectful towards me. For instance, she saw no problems in interrupting me and hijacking the conversation while I was talking to someone. If we were in the same group of people, she would talk to anyone and greet everyone but me. The only time she acknowledged my existence was when I was with Jim, and she was talking to him. At first, I tried not to pay attention to her behaviour, but the longer we were at school, the more unbearable it became to me. I’m not going to lie to you; she got to me more often than I would like to admit.

Of course, she wasn’t the only one playing a passive-aggressive game. If you disagreed on any social, emotional, or even cooking issues, with a parent who got kicks from passive-aggressive behaviour, you got shunt away for good by certain parenting groups.

The parent you disagreed on always made sure others knew that you were merely a savage and knew nothing or very little, even if you were an expert on that subject.

However, in my eyes, Christina has always been the Queen Bee of Meanness, and she has exercised her passive-aggressive technics over other mums and me, she was always annoyingly sweet to the dads, as much and as often as she could.

Don’t get me wrong I’m mad and furious at Jim. He always knew how I felt about Christina. She always tried her hardest to make my school runs and school community outings and gatherings as unpleasant as possible. Somehow she was always at the top of her game ready to attack when I didn’t expect her to. Now, it turns out that she is also good at sleeping with other people’s husbands.

PS. I need to get my shit together. I cannot keep on being so miserable and indecisive for much longer.

PS2. I looked at my pre-pregnancy clothes today and decided to fit in them once again.

PS3. I signed up with my local gym. That will show him… or maybe help me find someone for revenge sex. Either way, I’ll get my revenge. 

Move on to Chapter 7 “Playdates”