Chapter 17

Read Chapter 16 “School Runs”

Going Dancing

April 2nd, 2019

The exciting news this week is that my studio flats are ready and I’ve already started looking for tenants. I feel a mixture of thrill and nervousness since I’ve never been a landlady before and, in reality, I’ll be admitting strangers into my own house. But what must be done must be done.

When Jim found out, what I was doing, he went ballistic, yelling at me over the phone, telling me how much value I had knocked off his house, when he was just about to put it on the market. Yes, you heard it right; a person I was married to for so long and had two kids with was about to put my house, for which my parents are still paying, on the market. I have a feeling that he is really pissed with me that I didn’t crawl back in. Instead, I’m able to find ways to look after myself and the girls. Finally, when the yelling stopped, I harshly reminded him that his name isn’t near the house ownership, and as long as I own it, I can do with it whatever I feel like. I also added casually that if there is something he doesn’t understand, he should take it up with his attorney. I quickly put the phone down, not wanting to get dragged into another screaming session. My heart was racing fast; I could feel my neck getting stiff, but I stood up to him, and that made me delighted.

For me, this was a small victory, which I’ll treasure and cherish. However, I know that Jim will get his revenge in the lowest possible way: by the school, gate using his minion Christina to his dirty work. By now, I’m used to being ignored and talked about at the school. I don’t need negativity and life-sucking vampires in my life, which means that I don’t need all those school “community” people in my life. But it still hurts to be the outcast.

Since I’m still incredibly horny (I’m not doing Tinder or anything else like that, at least not at the moment), to control my longings and to keep away from my brother’s friend, I decided to go dancing. I nearly forgot how much I loved dancing. I hadn’t been clubbing or going to dance classes for years. This is how much money I wanted to spend on myself. Not doing stuff for yourself, while being married and focusing solely on either your kids or your husband, is a recipe for everything but happiness.

Since now I’m single, I went dancing to one of those dancing get-togethers. Those raves can last a whole day, and for £20 you can join for as long as you feel like it.

I danced the whole Saturday with short breaks for drinks; I hadn’t felt that good in years. It was nice to be anonymous and surrounded by strangers, who knew nothing about me and my past. I was fully relaxed, without feeling that my every move was observed or judged.

To my delight, I met a lovely woman, who just like me, has recently separated from her husband, but unlike me, she never left her job when she had her kids. We arranged to have lunch together on Friday. Her name is Annie, and I can’t wait to get to know someone outside of the miserable group of people I already know.

This week is the last week of the Spring term, and I should find out soon if the girls are going to be allowed to come back for the Summer term. I received a very strongly worded letter and email demanding that I make all the back payments immediately and a failure to do so will result in the girls being expelled. OMG, I’m sooo disillusioned with this bullshit misleading concept of the community this school is pretending to be. From my experience, when you fall on hard times, the community that should be supporting you leaves you to rot. Especially if you dared to do something unusual or crazy by their standards. Maybe being kicked out of the school wouldn’t be such a terrible thing after all. 

Move on to Chapter 18 “My First Date In Years”